


Had I But Known

by clgfanfic



Category: War of the Worlds (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-21
Updated: 2013-02-21
Packaged: 2017-12-03 03:59:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/693853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clgfanfic/pseuds/clgfanfic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A tag to the episode "The Resurrection."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Had I But Known

**Author's Note:**

> Originally published in the zine Green Floating Weirdness #15 under the pen name Laura Brush.

_"I could've gotten him killed."_

 

Suzanne found him at the small pond, skipping flat rocks across the calm surface while the single swan watched patiently from a tuft of leaves under the largest maple tree.  She could see the pinched expression on his face, knowing that whatever had caused it was the root of his recent brusque behavior.  With a deep breath she pushed herself on to join him pond-side.

"Hi," she said softly.

"Hi."

She took a seat on the still slightly damp grass.  "We missed you at breakfast."

"I wasn't hungry."

 _Well, so much for the small talk_ , she mused silently, studying the man.  When it came right down to it, she really didn't know that much about him; wasn't at all sure what made him tick, motivated him.

_Well, the subtle approach doesn't look like it's going to work…_

"It's obvious something's bothering you," she said bluntly.  "Want to talk about it?"

He paused, his arm pulled back, ready to fling another stone.  Meeting her gaze, he held it a second, deciding.  "No."

She sighed.  "If not to me, then maybe Norton?"

He threw the stone.  It skipped across the surface, bouncing four times before it sank with a watery swallow.  "I'll be fine."

Suzanne nodded.  "Maybe you will, but until you get past whatever it is that's got you upset the rest of us are going to be walking on eggshells, and that's not good for morale."

He turned, meeting her gaze again.  He blinked.  "I hadn't thought about that."

"Why don't you just tell me what's bothering you.  Even if I don't have an answer, it might help to talk about it."

 _It's like talking to Debi_ , she mused as he debated whether or not to accept her offer.

"I could've gotten him killed."

 _Okay, psych major, what do I say now?_ she wondered.  After a moment's pause she replied.  "Paul?"

Harrison nodded.

"When?" she asked.  "At the hanger?"

"No."

"When?" she asked again.

"At the Jericho disposal facility."

Suzanne sat up slightly straighter, remembering their first encounter with Ironhorse.  The soldier hadn't been at all inclined to help them until Harrison had wheedled his way into the military installation.  But there had been no encounters there, no alien threat.

"I don't understand," she said.  "There was nothing there."

"But I didn't know that," Harrison replied intensely, meeting her eyes.

His expression was haunted, more so than she expected.  "Harrison, you can't expect to second guess the aliens at every turn."

"I know that, Suzanne, but—"  He broke off and turned away, staring out at the pond.

The swan, having decided that the astrophysicist was finished casting stones across his sanctuary, had slipped back into the water and was gliding silently across the surface, looking for breakfast.

"Harrison," she said, "talk to me.  Please?"

"At the waste disposal facility he was just another soldier – arrogant, unimagative, authoritarian.  I didn't see him as a possible ally…"  He watched the swan a moment, then added, "…a possible friend."

"We had no idea where all this was going then," Suzanne said.  "None of us could've predicted this."

"Do you know how many men he lost at that abandoned tourist site?"

She shook her head.

"Twelve," Harrison supplied.  "Twelve human beings, not to mention the terrorists and the innocent civilians they took over along the way."

"You couldn't have stopped that, Harrison.  We did the best we could.  We kept them from getting their war machines."

He nodded.  "Yes, we stopped them.  But can't you see, I should've told Ironhorse at the disposal facility what was happening."

"He wouldn't have believed you," she countered matter-of-factly.

"Maybe not, but that would've been his decision, his choice."

"Harrison, what's really bothering you?"

"I was afraid.  I panicked," he admitted.  "When I saw those barrels…  I knew the aliens were back.  And rather than tell him, I ran.  I left Ironhorse and his men in there.  What if the aliens hadn't gone?  What if they'd been hiding?  What if they'd gotten Ironhorse then and there?"

Suzanne pieced the emotional puzzle together.  "But you didn't know him then.  And you had no way of knowing that he'd be assigned to this Project – that any of us would.  You did the best you could at the time."

"But it wasn't good enough, Suzanne.  I was willing to let Ironhorse and his men die just because they were soldiers."

"Given the treatment Dr. Forrester received at the hands of the military, I'm not surprised."

"But that doesn't excuse my actions," he argued.  "If I can't value all human life, then I'm no better than the aliens."

"That's not true.  You're feeling guilty because you left the colonel at risk and now he's becoming a friend."

"A friend?" Harrison echoed, his eyebrows climbing.  "I'm not so sure about that, but I did place him at risk.  Regardless of my personal feelings at the time, I should've told him exactly what was happening.  It might've saved some of those soldiers."

"Harrison, you can't go back and second guess everything, it'll drive you mad."

"If I don't, I'll never learn from my mistakes."

She considered the reply.  "Learning from our mistakes is one thing, dwelling on the past and beating yourself up about it is another."

"Yes, Doctor," he replied, a smile touching his lips.  "Had I but known where all of this was taking us…"

"Twenty-twenty hindsight," Suzanne said.  "The colonel's not holding this against you, is he?"

Harrison shook his head.  "I don't think so."

"Good."

"Even with all his, well, military-ness, I think the good colonel might end up a good friend."

Suzanne looked surprised.  "Did I actually hear that?"

Harrison chuckled softly.  "Yes, but if you quote me, I'll deny it."

He stood and she followed suit.  "Feeling better?"

"Yes," Harrison said.  "Thank you."

"You're welcome."  She walked with Harrison as he headed back toward the Cottage.  "Are you going to talk to the colonel about this?"

"Maybe," Harrison said.  " _After_ we win this war."


End file.
